Jinx's Alphabet
by The Lady of the Willows
Summary: She was their friend. She betrayed them. After her decision, they haunt her mind... Oneshot featuring Jinx.


**Jinx's Alphabet**

Author's Note: I found the idea of Jinx turning to the "Good" side so quickly unrealistic, no matter how fond of Kid Flash she is. Her personality did not seem to allow for a complete change the way it seemed. Being dissatisfied with how Jinx switched sides so quickly and seemed to attack her former friends without any sign of remorse, Iwrote this.

* * *

A is for Admission. She paid for her admission to the "Good" side with her loyalty to her friends. A demonstration was in order, so she attacked them recklessly as well. 

B is for Betrayal. Jinx betrayed her old friends. They had always known she would take her own path eventually, but never thought it would be against them. Not the way she had gone.

C is for the Coldness of Being Alone that she experiences often. Aloneness is not always physically. It can be mentally. Once in a while, she steps out onto the roof to look at the city and ocean from high above. It gives her a sense of _being_ instead of merely solitude.

D is for the Damnation she is sure she deserves. She has to have punishment for what she has done before and now. The greatest penance she must pay will be her sanity, if the hauntings continue. Her guilt condemns her already. Her mind justifies it.

E is for Every Breath She Breathes while she lives. She feels selfish that she has this consolation of having a beating heart and breathing air whilst some she knew do not.

F is for Forgiveness--- something Jinx is not sure if she will get. It is for Friendship, which she gave up so easily. Forlorn is also with F, which is how she feels.

G is for the Ghosts and Spirits of her former friends that she can still feel near. Although their bodies are frozen, she still feels them haunting her existence for forgetting them and leaving them behind. She closes her eyes and lets herself sink into a trance. Gizmo comes up first, with his foul mouth and voicing his shock at her betrayal. After is Mammoth, who can only dumbly wonder how this happened. Billy Numerous comes along staring at her and pointing. Kyd Wykked places a translucent hand on her shoulder and speaks nothing. He has an unreadable expression except for a slight twitch in the corner of his lip. The indifferent façade implies that he feels and thinks nothing, but Jinx can feel his sadness and hurt at her actions. Last is See-More. He is sorrowful for her. He loved her. She opens her eyes again. She loved them as well, in her own way.

H is for the HIVE Five, the youth crime squad that Jinx was a part of for a while. They were her friends, comrades, and family for a while, until she turned on them. They had many adventures and experiences together.

I is for the Ice that covers their bodies. She goes to look at them every so often. Their faces vary from horror-struck to indifference. She places a finger to her own face and wonders how her face might look if she were to be frozen as well. Would it be terrified or apathetic? Or mayhap something else entirely… triumph or defeat… there are many possibilities.

J is for her name, Jinx, which she has taken repeating lest she forget it. Her identity is being forgotten every night, when she goes to sleep. Often, she dreams about her old life or nightmares about the future. They torment her in her mind, despairing her.

K is for Kid Flash, who brought her to where she is now. She loves him so much, yet she cannot help but ask why. It all stems from him, but she cannot bring herself to blame him.

L is for her Lack of Feelings. She is apathetic about what has happened now. Things happen and things do not.

M is for the Messages she hear. Kyd Wykked's last projected thought to her was,_ "Why?"_ Jinx does not know how to answer it. It could be because she loved a hero so much she decided to join him, but that would mean that she abandoned her friends. It could be that she was tired of the HIVE FIVE's friendship, but that would be saying that she lied to them for so long when she said they were her friends. It could be that she had always secretly wanted to be a heroine, but that is neither what she wanted nor what she is now. Some of the heroes still look upon her with slight suspicion. They do not trust her. For some, the only logical choice would be that she chose the winning side, but that is not her reason.

N is for the Nothing that her companions can understand. They see the situation as that she made the "right choice" because the "good" is right. They have not seen the possibilities and the choices that everyone makes--- only themselves. It was a difficult decision she made when she had to choose between her team and her new love. Either way, it would have been a betrayal, but it was a greater betrayal when she chose Kid Flash. Only Cyborg understands, because he had to make a similar decision when he was revealed from his undercover identity of Stone. When he did his mission, the Teen Titans felt that he would definitely choose them because they were the heroes. Those Teen Titans could not see beyond the common title the HIVE students shared as "villain". There was so much about villains that others did not understand. Villains also had family connections and their own private community.

O is for the Other Choice she thinks about: the what-if that might have been if she had stayed with her friends. Mayhap the Brotherhood of Evil would have triumphed with an extra thinking person on their side. But then, the Teen Titans and their allies would be the ones frozen, and she loves him so. Mayhap the Brotherhood would have still lost, and she would be one of those frozen. If that had been so, she would have been with her friends either way, but lost Kid Flash. What is greater: Friendship or Love? They are inter-related, because she loves her friends and is friends with her love.

P is for Prison. She is not in a prison now, but it feels like she is somehow. Raven might be the only one who can see and feel Jinx's pains whenever the luck-witch remembers what she did. The dark, cloaked witch understands with her empathic powers and similar experiences. She often casts pitying gazes at her old rival. Although Jinx is free in word, she is a prisoner of her decisions and of her mind.

Q is for all of the Questions asked to her, whether by her mind, her friends, or her heart. They are driving her to insanity with their inquiries of why she chose her course of action. She cannot or will not answer. Jinx is not sure.

R is for the Rain that falls outside. Jinx smiles in slight amusement at this change of weather. She steps out onto the roof and lets the wind blow the rain onto her. She gets completely soaked, but it is all right; she has always loved the rain. With pain, she realizes that this rainwater does not have the sacred scent that those in her early environment did. This one smells like acid and pain, from all of the pollution humans have done. She opens her eyes and finds herself yearning to return to what she had before. The rain turns icy against her skin and hurtfully pricks her as needles. She shakes her pink hair and returns to standing motionless under the downpour.

S is for the Sorcery she performs. She uses her bad luck to make people trip and fall or be injured. She used to use her mystical powers for aiding villains, but now she uses them for stopping villains. She has had her skills for as long as she can remember. Her magic is the same color as her pink hair and eyes.

T is for Time, which she wish she had more of. With time, she could have turned all of the HIVE FIVE to the "good" side or Kid Flash to the "bad" side so that they would have all been happier--- hopefully. There was not enough time. Things might have been different. Or better. Or worse.

U is for the unfaithfulness she displayed. In her mind, Gizmo loves to distress her about it most. His high childish voice accuses her again and again. It is merely a figment in her mind--- so it seems--- but it pains her still. He was always immature compared to the others, but she had been friends with him for a long time. He questions her disloyalty to her companions. He questions her falseness in once saying she would stay with them. He questions her unfaithfulness for so many things.

V is for the Villainous Tendencies that Jinx is not sure if she has lost yet. When she thinks about her frozen friends, she has short passing desires to free them. They are in suspended animation and may be that way forever. She might like to join them. This desire could be classified as villainy to some.

W is for the Wilderness inside her mind when she sleeps. It is there that her ghosts and spirits often visit. Kyd Wykked comes here most to speak to her. _"You did not even tell us you were turning,"_ he whispers telepathically in her dream. _"We might have joined you, if you had. If you were not so afraid of our reactions."_ She tries to find a single safe tree or lake to hide with, so that she does not need to see his dark eyes peering so deeply into her soul, but none are around. She stays with him to talk. _"I was felt angry and betrayed at first, but I could understand why you would choose this path."_ She tries to speak, but he continues._ "I did not try to attack you, because you are still my friend."_ She wishes to tell him he did not even get a chance to, but he continues first. _"Even if I had the chance, I would not have."_ Jinx stiffens at the declaration before weeping. The figure of her friend in her dream puts a gentle hand on her to support her in her pain. She accepts the proffered comfort, but beyond him, she sees the betrayal they feel.

X is for Xystus. A xystus is an ancient Greek covered exercise area and it was also an ancient Roman path in a garden lines with trees or pillars. There used to be some in the Temple she trained at in her early years. It was tranquil in those places despite the under-sound of training. She misses it, and would like to see it again. She usually does, in her dreams, but now she dreams only of their accusatory eyes that wordlessly curse her for her betrayal.

Y is for her Youth, which she spent as a Priestess-in-Training in India. After that, she journeyed to the United States and attended the HAEYP there. Youth is a passing phase where one is between childhood and maturity. She was not sure where she was now. She was no longer child but not yet adult, and she felt too changed to be a youth.

Z is the Zenith that is what the sunset Jinx sees represents to her as she sits on the roof of the T-Tower. She watches it silently and remembers how many times before she has seen it. She knows this is the last time she wants to see it--- at least until she has taken a pilgrimage to cleanse her wretched soul or gained forgiveness from her former friends. Her red-haired love comes up to join her and watch the ribbons of light. She bows her head in defeat as the last of the colors fade.

* * *

"You are leaving," stated Kid Flash. It was not a question, but a hollowed expression of agony. 

"Yes," said Jinx.

"Why?"

"Farewell," she whispered.

Unsure of what he ought do, he watched wordlessly as she left the roof.

* * *

"I won't freeze you, Jinx," said Raven in a cold controlled voice. 

"Please, Raven," begged the pink-haired witch as they approached the frozen collection of the Brotherhood of Evil villains.

"No."

"I will have to do it myself, then," declared Jinx determinedly.

Before Raven could stop her, she stepped under the freezing tube and shot a wave of magic to make the billowing ice come out of its own accord. The conveyor belt moved the bad luck witch beside the Brain and below her old friends. They were all together again, as things might have been, as things should have been.

Kid Flash arrived a moment too late and saw Jinx moving to her place. He moved towards her frozen figure with the intention of reviving her, but then faltered.

Her expression was that of one at peace.


End file.
